Review: Freddy vs. Jason

Freddy vs. Jason. The movie that brought america together. You know it will be good because it took ten years to make, therefore, they had a lot of time so it MUST be good.

Now the opening scene with the flashbacks and stuff and a retelling was very un-needed. EVERYONE KNOWS!!!!! Now I haven't seen this movie since 2006 so I may get some info wrong since I'm on Wikipedia.

Now this girl goes for a little swim naked and waits for his boyfriend and gets a visit from Jason's roflmachete. Then we turn to him in Hell and Freddy in a poor disguise of Pamela Voorhees tells Jason to live again and kill the children of Elm Street. It works and Freddy knows Jason will get the blood, but Freddy will get the fame/blame.

History of the script

First script by Lewis Abernathy:

TITLE: Nightmare 13 - Freddy Meets Jason

A teenager has a younger sister, and she gets stolen by a Freddy cult and plan to dump her in a valcano in plans to ressurect Freddy. And the teenage girl takes the heart of her dead boy-friend and puts it in Jason and they battle it out.

Second script by David J. Schow:

TITLE: Friday the 13th: Hearts of Darkness

Same thing except the teen throws the heart into the lake and Jason is ressurected.

Third script by Brandon Braga & Ronald D. Moore:

TITLE: Freddy and Jason

There idea was that Freddy Kruger was real. Jason was only potrayed in the movies from a real serial killer that was being controled by Freddy.

Fourth script by Peter Briggs:

TITLE: A Nightmare on Friday the 13th

Freddy and Jason are being controlled by a demon named Thanos: Lord of the Underworld.

Fifth script by Eithan Reiff & Cyrus Voris:

TITLE: The Millenium Massacre

That Freddy cult now has a goal for Freddy to come into the real world with all his powers.

Sixth script by Rob Bottin:

TITLE: The Crystal Lake Robbery

A bunch of teenagers like to play practial jokes on people and take a drug called Somnambulance, our hero girl puts them in jail, and they escape and try to go kill her. So they bring Jason back to life with Pamela Voorhees' heart.

Seventh script by David Goyer & James D. Robinson:

TITLE: A Nightmare on the 13th

They established why Jason was killing, but Freddy and Jason are not real, they are part of this girl's imagination, then they become real.

LAST ONE BY MARK SWIFT AND IT IS THE ONE WE HAVE NOW.

Now the director, Ronny Yu, is the worst director EVER (not really) and the reason that because he thinks Jason is afraid of water.

Review: Jason X

OK... Let me try and be as calm about this as possible as I can.

...........................................................................................HOW DID THEY CAPTURE JASON!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!!!!??? His mask looks so different it's not even funny, a kid dies and we never know how, Jason and a woman get frozen into the year 2455, when they were in 2010, and Lowe, thinks it was 455 years that they were frozen. A+ for him! And I would talk about the nipple scene but............ *sigh* Now there is ONE good scene in the movie, and it was the Ice Face Smash scene. THAT'S IT. Now, I clearly established I hate this movie, correct? Okay. KM decides to get an upgrade and goes after him. But then a kid decides, "Maybe I can kill him with this little thing." And he gets thrown half down the hallway. And KM kills him, but guess what, he can regenerate damaged or lost tissue. All right! So the movie isn't over at an hour and 12 minutes. He's back! And with a new look and or attitude! His name is Uber Jason. Which is German for something, I don't know. Now KM gets her head kicked off with an awesome effect, and that teen carries the head. That's wow. That is wow. And remember that game they played in the simulator? You know the scene where Todd Farmer's head gets severed and he says "Screw this, game over."? Well it's back and it is Crystal Lake. And two teens that have a scary laugh invite Uber Jason for Beer, Pot and premarital sex. And he beats them in the sleeping bag, and hits the bag over a tree. Now that was in part seven and it was way better. And the bag wasn't filled with laundry in that one.

I know........ it sounds like it is not real so I added a picture. So I don't offend anyone or get flagged for being innapropriate, I show a picture having the teens backs turned.

Now this person thought it was a good idea to commit suicide with the bomb and to blow him up along with Uber Jason, but Jason lives, the graceful man dies. How happy! Now Brodski attempts to get the ship running so the door opens to the ship to Earth Two and has actually pretty sweet red armor. It is a sucuess and that moron kid makes the 2010 girl get KM. And Brodski holds him off and sends him into space and he is flying his way on board until Brodski grabs him and they both burn up on impact and fly into Earth Two's new Crystal Lake.

Now Jason falls into it and Brodski is nowhere to be seen. And his mask falls to the bottom of the lake and it is pretty obvious he is back and will continue his non-stop revenge on Earth Two. For me this isn't a horror movie. It's a high budget sci-fi comedy fan film that got lucky. And I've clearly established that I don't like this movie, right? Well I don't say it ruined the franchise or destroyed Jasons' image because just saying that is ghey. AND WHOEVER SAYS THAT I WANNA STRANGLE THEIR THROAT SO HARD THEIR HEAD WILL FALL OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Because saying Jason Goes to Hell, Jason X, and Freddy vs. Jason is ghey is ghey. :/

I need a brownie. Go away!!!

Pregame Lobby Poll

Results:

Yes 1
No 1
Uh 0
O.o 1

Since O.o means absolutley nothing, I guess I'll make more episodes. Sigh. I have to do them over...

Google Brain

Yep, Google Brain. I was gonna post about it eventually. Let's talk about it. I am doing everything in my power to make a copy of GBrain. I can't offically deam it yet as of now, but I saved a domain name. At least until Google takes that down.

http://www.gbrain.com/

I'm not making a promise that it will be done. But I'll try. I will have web developers stand by to answer. NO PROMISES ARE BEING MADE. IT WILL BE UP WITHIN A YEAR THOUGH IF IT WILL BE MADE.

Complete BULLPIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This terrible show can be viewed here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kb8rdc-0OpQ)



Arby 'n' the Chief is the worst, most despicable show I could ever think of. Frankly, the worst show ever. And I am being as serious as Frankie from Bungie.




(LULZ)

New Series

A new series, The Arbiter, is crash-landing its way to YouTube and Machinima.com just two days from now! "The Arbiter", taking place in the Halo 2 campaign levels you can play as him. And maybe ocasinally in Halo 3 campaign.

The ADSTs Episode 12 "The Lone ADST (Part Two of Two) (Act 4)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gR6hT2cxfgI&feature=related

Yep, I finally made it. Over a year and it is finally peaced together. Will John epically kill Own? Or epically reak of failness.

- Logan